Me too!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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