dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
