Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
