ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
