I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
