either way he was missing a nipple.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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