Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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