now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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