I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize