Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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