Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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