I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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