i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
