If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
