ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize