Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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