I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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