He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ttyl tear gas
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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