i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
