OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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