I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
