Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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