Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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