so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
