dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
