Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
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I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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