Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize