ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
