We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
