So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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