I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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