I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
