Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize