There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
