That's intense
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize