'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
