After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
