am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
