Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
