um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
