Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
