we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
