My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
