Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
