Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
