please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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