You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You're like the curious george of whores
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
