I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
