summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
