he told me I talked like a deaf person
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
