We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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