u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
