I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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