can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
