if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
