If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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