it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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