Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never underestimate the power of titties
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize