found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
