New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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