Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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