im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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