I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
